Relationships

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2014

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship

http://www.psychologytoday.com/topics/relationships

http://www.helpguide.org/topics/relationships.htm

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573

Jokes

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

It Started Joke

John walks into his 5th floor apartment after a long day of work, he exhaustively sinks into his favorite arm chair, puts up his footrest, turns on the TV, and turns to his wife Hannah, “Honey, please get me a hard drink, I think it’s about to start.” Hannah rolls her eyes, heads to the kitchen, takes out a beer from the fridge, and brings it to John. “Honey”, said John, two minutes later, “please get me another one quickly before it starts.” “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING!” Hannah exclaimed, “DO YOU THINK I’M YOUR PERSONAL WAITER!? YOU PLOP YOURSELF DOWN ON YOUR EASY CHAIR AND EXPECT ME TO BE ON YOUR BECK AND CALL!? IS THAT ALL I’M GOOD FOR!? John sighs, and mutters under his breath, “it started….”

Ten Short Relationship Jokes

1. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
2. Love is grand... Divorce is 75 grand.
3. Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. - Swedish Proverb
4. Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. - Leo Buscaglia
5. Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. - Miles Franklin
6. Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh!' he whispered. 'Yes, Piglet?' 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.' - A.A. Milne
7. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. - Wayne W. Dyer
8. Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. - Anonymous
9. Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus
10. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Marriage and Children: A Funny Story

'Hello,' uttered the Father, 'and how is Mrs Irwin this fine day? Didn't I marry you two years ago?' Lorna Irwin was striding down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Mara.

Lorna replied, 'That you did Father.'

The priest inquired, 'And are there any little ones yet?' 
'No, not yet Father,' murmured Lorna Irwin.

'Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you.' 
'Thank you, Father.'

A few years later they met again. 
'Well, now, Mrs Irwin," said Father O'Mara, 'and how are you?' 
'Oh, very well,' responded Lorna.

'And tell me,' said the Reverend Father, 'have you any little ones yet?' 
'Oh yes, Father O'Mara,' answered Lorna Irwin, 'I've had three sets of twins, and four singles: ten in all.'

'Now isn't that wonderful,' rejoined Father O'Mara, 'And how is your lovely husband?' 
'Oh, Basil,' she replied, 'now he's gone to Rome. To blow out the damn candle!'

Good Women Are Hard to Find

Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year.

Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months.'

Stephen downs his glass of the red wine thoughtfully and after a while responds, 'Think it over a bit more, Nige; women like that are hard to find.'

Courtesy of:http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/jokes/marriage-humor/relationship-jokes/

http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/relationship-jokes

http://www.guy-sports.com/months/jokes_relationships.htm#Another_Tranche_of_Marriage_and_Relationship_Jokes_

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Please remember ...it is in all good fun:

Relationship

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_relationship

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship

http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/relationships

http://waterloo.mylaurier.ca/development/info/Relationships.htm

http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship

http://www.peelregion.ca/health/sexuality/relations/rel-unhealthy.htm

http://www.lovingyou.com/

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/healthy_relationship.html

Jokes

My Rules

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.. whether you're here or not.

Male assertiveness

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The funeral director," said his wife.

Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and
you were only 17?" he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.

 "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"

0 to 200 in 6 seconds
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.. whether you're here or not." Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway,

brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Marriage Lessons
On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.
"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness --and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

Second Opinion
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home.
She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor.
"Getting a second opinion!"

I'll do anything you want.

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly toward him.


Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition.'
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.
The young woman replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'
The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand.

He looked deeply into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, 'Paint my house.'

Honey Do's
This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you.

1). Make the beds-- What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that - Scratch one.

2). Pick up dog poop in yard-- It snowed last night, I don't see any dog poop, kids do you see any dog poop ? - Scratch two.


3). Drop your shirts off at the cleaners-- Duhh I'm on vacation I don't need them. Scratch three.


This is easy, what's the fuss. Think I'll go on Web surfing for awhile.


4). Clean out Tupperware cabinet-- Uhhhh that's a hard one. GOT IT, Velcro on the door will keep them closed. - Scratch four.


5). Mop kitchen floor-- The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast, floor looks clean to me - Scratch five.

Good dogie go play in the yard. She just loves rolling in the snow.


6). Find something fun for the kids to do-- That tinfoil in the microwave thing was kinda fun - Scratch six.


This is way too easy I'll have lots of time for Web surfing.


7). Vacuum the carpets-- That's a hard one-- "Hey kids, wanna have some more FUN?" - Scratch seven.


8). Feed kids lunch-- Hey kids, don't you have a friend's house to go too ? YESSSS - Scratch eight !!!!!!


9). Clean out hallway closet-- Hmmmm another hard one. That's it, take enough out of the closet to close the door. Outta sight outta mind. Hmmmm this other stuff can go under a bed - Scratch nine.


Boy O Boy am I good! Lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker bag & eat. Taaa daaa - no lunch dishes !!!


10). Do laundry-- no problem I can do that while I'm on the Web - Scratch ten.


11). Fold laundry-- (dang, can't do that while I'm on the computer) Ya know I never noticed how many pink things this family actually wears. Gonna have to ask da little lady why she buys me pale pink underwear?? Check this out a cashmere Barbie sweater, cool. - Scratch eleven.


12) Put the laundry away-- Baskets in bedrooms work for me - Scratch twelve.


This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about house work???


13). Water the Christmas tree-- Ooops! good thing the carpet is absorbent - Scratch thirteen.


14). Grocery shopping, Buy toilet paper-- These old newspapers will do, besides, that's recycling & that's good for the earth-- Scratch fourteen.


15). Pick up the kids -- Yeah right; we're talking about my kids here. Parents will normally pay to drop them back off. They'll be back - Scratch fifteen.

Wonder who's in the Chat Room. Awww, I have plenty of time.


16). Make dinner-- Easy, "Hello. Do you deliver ? uhhh double that, Ya know we will need more dinner tomorrow" - Scratch sixteen.


17). Clean out the dog house-- duhh the dog sleeps in our bed, Like that needs to be done - Scratch seventeen.

WOW all done. Still time for some Web surfing & a nap-- Man this is sooooo easy. Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they're working. Wish I was a chick !

Why nagging does not work...
What a woman says: "This place is a mess! C'mon, You and I need to clean up, Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW

Courtesy of www.coolfunnyjokes.comwww.michaelclark.name
Thanks ... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Love at first sight.

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_at_first_sight

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-bytes/201002/love-first-sight

http://peoplerelationships.syl.com/loverelationships/loveatfirstsight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhDrJz4rBH0&feature=fvwrel

JOkes

The First Kiss

At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease?..."

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"

Love at First Sight

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.
He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.
'Is this yours?' he asked.
She said, 'Yes, could you bring it up?' The man agreed. On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, 'I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty; would you like to join me?' He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, 'I've had a marvellous evening. Would you like to stay the night?'
The man hesitated then said, 'Do you act like this with every man you meet?'

'No', she replied, 'only with those who catch my eye.'

Courtesy of www.cleanjoke.com and http://www.jokes.com/

Thanks ... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Give me a break.

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Break
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bone
http://kidshealth.org/kid/htbw/bones.html
http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/circulatory/heart.htm
http://www.heartandstroke.com/site/c.ikIQLcMWJtE/b.4466147/k.69A5/Select_Your_Province.htm

JOkes
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?"she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't
understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you". Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without."

If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes
your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it
free in the first place . . . You married it.

If you were my boyfriend I'd put arsenic in your tea

And if I was your boyfriend I'd drink it!

A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "What in the world happened to you, buddy?"

The guy says, "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore." "Yeah?" asks the bartender. "What did she do?"
"She hit me with her bag of quarters!".

WOMAN WANTED

A tall, well-built woman with good
sense of humor, who can cook frog
legs and who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.


A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a

fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost
everything expensive on the menu: appetizers, lobster,
champagne . . . the works. Finally he asked her, "Does your
Mother feed you like this at home?"
"No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid,
either."

Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?

A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.

Q: Why are skeletons usually so calm ?

A: Nothing gets under their skin !

Q: What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish ?

A: It came back with a skeleton crew !

Broken Bones
A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every
single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.
The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with
her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells
"Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her
composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told
you I broke every bone in my body."
The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss,"
he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is,
you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken
your finger."

Thank you to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place.by putting a smile on someones face:)

Courtesy of www. gotabreakup.com, www.ebaumsworld.com
2001-2008 copyright.funmunch.com

Dating Service

Copyright Lucy Drmuonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_dating_service

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7vWi8sosg4
http://www.squidoo.com/romanceandchat#module9645041


Jokes


Shortly after a long night of passion, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry."Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, Tony replied, "That's me before the operation.


A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"


55 Ways To Get Rid of a Bad Date
1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.

2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table.

3.Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.

4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.

5.Repeat every third third word you say say.


6.Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high school yearbook.


7.Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date.


8.Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly.


9.Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about.


10.Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.


11.Order a bucket of lard.


12.Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.


13.Howl and whistle at womens' legs, especially if you are female.


14.Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets.


15.Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about themselves.


16.Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.


17.When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.


18.Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.


19.Drool.


20.Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.


21.Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.


22.Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What took you so long in the restroom?!?"


23.Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.


24.Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.


25.Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up.


26.Ask your date how much money they have with them.


27.Order for your date. Order something nasty.


28.Communicate in mime the entire evening.


29.Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.


30.Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs.


31.Hum. Loudly. In monotone.


32.Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements... i.e anything on the table that isn't bolted down.


33.Hold a debate. Take both sides.


34.Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn.


35.Auction your date off for silverware.


36.Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.


37.Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.


38.Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments.


39.Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgement in editing to twist their words around.


40.Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.


41.Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or just nonsense).


42.Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Insist that they just need airing out.


43.If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite.


44.Bring 20 or so candles with you, and during the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.


45.Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.


46.Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.


47.Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order coffee, and fill the thermos one cup at a time, taking advantage of the free refills.


48.Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a simliar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it.


49. Accuse your date of espionage.


50.Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults.


51.Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.


52.Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill.


53.Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow.


54.Feed imaginary friends, or toy dolls you've brought along.


55.Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill.

 Courtesy of squidoo.com and Deeplake.com

Love and Money

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

There are never guarantees of finding love and money to pure happiness.

As some would say...depending on how much money would make one content?
Does money buy love?

Not long ago did i think love was suppose to be simple yet complicated, but putting money into the mix was just as confusing.
Money was and still is a concern of problems to many families. It is a balancing act for parents who have to contend with their own wants  of their children.
As to say in today's day in age all about not just focusing on your own financial priories,but if you have a family it all coming down to balancing just like any other issue in ones life.
If your single one advantage learn to manage the money on your own and focus on your own needs.
I guess that goes for every individual... love and money are not similar yet must learn to work together.

Money cannot buy you love, sure give you temporary happiness.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Money
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_and_Money
http://www.blogthings.com/wouldyouchooseloveormoneyquiz/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1394900/Money-really-buy-love-Lottery-winner-2-5m-bank--share-with.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
http://beginnersinvest.about.com/cs/personalfinance1/a/061001a.htm
http://blogues.desjardins.com/jeanremydeschenes-en/2011/05/love-and-money-a-users-guide.php

Jokes

One PAYDAY, MR. GOODBAR wanted a BIT O'HONEY, so he took MARY JANE behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVENUE. He gave her a big HERSHEY KISS and began to feel her MOUNDS, that was pure ALMOND JOY. It made her TOOTSIE ROLL! He let out a SNICKER as his BUTTERFINGER moved through her JUICY FRUIT and caused a MILKY WAY. She screamed "OH HENRY" as she squeezed his GOOBERS and made his MR. PEANUT brittle. "That's GOOD N' PLENTY," MARY JANE said. "You're even better than the THREE MUSKETEERS!" Soon she was more than a bit CHUNKY and nine months later had BABY RUTH.



A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."

So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the john.

"How did you get in here?" he asked.
"Shhhhh!!!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"


A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay with the others since several of his important clients were there.
As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jerves
She looked at him and smiled. "Jerves," she said, "take off my dress." He did this carefully. "Jerves," she continued, "take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "Jerves," she then said, "remove my bra and panties." As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

She looked at him and then said, "Jerves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

Courtesy of Deeplake.com