Relationships

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2014

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship

http://www.psychologytoday.com/topics/relationships

http://www.helpguide.org/topics/relationships.htm

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573

Jokes

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

It Started Joke

John walks into his 5th floor apartment after a long day of work, he exhaustively sinks into his favorite arm chair, puts up his footrest, turns on the TV, and turns to his wife Hannah, “Honey, please get me a hard drink, I think it’s about to start.” Hannah rolls her eyes, heads to the kitchen, takes out a beer from the fridge, and brings it to John. “Honey”, said John, two minutes later, “please get me another one quickly before it starts.” “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING!” Hannah exclaimed, “DO YOU THINK I’M YOUR PERSONAL WAITER!? YOU PLOP YOURSELF DOWN ON YOUR EASY CHAIR AND EXPECT ME TO BE ON YOUR BECK AND CALL!? IS THAT ALL I’M GOOD FOR!? John sighs, and mutters under his breath, “it started….”

Ten Short Relationship Jokes

1. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
2. Love is grand... Divorce is 75 grand.
3. Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. - Swedish Proverb
4. Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. - Leo Buscaglia
5. Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. - Miles Franklin
6. Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh!' he whispered. 'Yes, Piglet?' 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.' - A.A. Milne
7. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. - Wayne W. Dyer
8. Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. - Anonymous
9. Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus
10. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Marriage and Children: A Funny Story

'Hello,' uttered the Father, 'and how is Mrs Irwin this fine day? Didn't I marry you two years ago?' Lorna Irwin was striding down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Mara.

Lorna replied, 'That you did Father.'

The priest inquired, 'And are there any little ones yet?' 
'No, not yet Father,' murmured Lorna Irwin.

'Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you.' 
'Thank you, Father.'

A few years later they met again. 
'Well, now, Mrs Irwin," said Father O'Mara, 'and how are you?' 
'Oh, very well,' responded Lorna.

'And tell me,' said the Reverend Father, 'have you any little ones yet?' 
'Oh yes, Father O'Mara,' answered Lorna Irwin, 'I've had three sets of twins, and four singles: ten in all.'

'Now isn't that wonderful,' rejoined Father O'Mara, 'And how is your lovely husband?' 
'Oh, Basil,' she replied, 'now he's gone to Rome. To blow out the damn candle!'

Good Women Are Hard to Find

Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year.

Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months.'

Stephen downs his glass of the red wine thoughtfully and after a while responds, 'Think it over a bit more, Nige; women like that are hard to find.'

Courtesy of:http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/jokes/marriage-humor/relationship-jokes/

http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/relationship-jokes

http://www.guy-sports.com/months/jokes_relationships.htm#Another_Tranche_of_Marriage_and_Relationship_Jokes_

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Please remember ...it is in all good fun: