Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Mental Health


                                 Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2017
                                                   
                            wikipeda mental health 
                            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatry 
                            http://www.ccohs.ca/healthyminds/
                            https://helixhealthcaregroup.com/mental-health/
                            http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/
                            http://ontario.cmha.ca
                            


Seeking a health professional for better mental health.

Seeking a health professional is not the easiest thing to do.
It takes courage to seek out and ask for help.
there are many options in which a person may take.
One can seek a Psychiatrist, therapist or counselling that is financially reasonable.

The choice is yours whichever is more comfortable.
It is always best to try and keep options open.
There is online therapy, dialectical, cognitive behavior therapy, clinical psychologists, counsellors.
Choosing online therapy is also anonymous and can be useful in the presence and safety in your own home.

All clinicians must adhere to strict codes of confidentiality.
Give online therapy a try in the privacy of your own home. Having an online Psychiatrist, clinical psychologists, counsellor or therapist can improve the quality of one’s own mental health.


Lucy Drumonde

                                                 Jokes 

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
― Rodney Dangerfield
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
George Carlin
“1 in 5 people have dandruff. 1 in 4 people have a mental health problem. I’ve had both. ”
Ruby Wax





Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I'm 
going 
crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.
Amazing ! so you have. 
How could that have happened ?
I can't understand it either, 
because I planted cabbage !


Patient: Why did you 
charge me a 
group rate?
Psychiatrist: You've got multiple personalities.


 If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
- If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are a depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
- If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969696969.
- If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
- If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
- If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
- If you are a blonde, don't press any buttons - you'll just mess it up.รข€






Courtesy of: :https://traumadissociation.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/mental-health-humor/
 http://jokes.skem9.co.uk/cat/Mental-health-jokes/
http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/one_liner_jokes/mental_health_helpline

Friday, January 20, 2017

Trumped




Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2017

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump
ttps://twitter.com/search/donald+trump

Jokes

Can I tell you a joke about the wall?
 Never mind you won't get over it. 

Why does Donald Trump pick his nose?
 Because he's the boogeyman. 

Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.
 Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all. 

What do you call it, when a brainless creature takes over the world? 
The Trump-ocalypse. 

What is the Beach Boys song "Kokomo" about?
All the places Donald Trump has bank accounts


Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?
Because E.T. eventually went home! 


What does Donald Trump’s wife call it when he takes viagra?
A rigged erection


What’s 18 inches long and hangs in front of an assh*le?
Donald Trump’s tie



What do a thong and Donald Trump’s toupee have in common?
 They both barely cover an assh*le
“What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked.
“No, a surface to hair missile.”

How many Donald Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
Look, we can change the light bulb. That I will tell you. We’re changing it, ok? And I understand what you’re saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say “Is the light bulb really dead?”. That’s what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The light bulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. But we are going to change it.


















Courtesy of:
http://www.amazingjokes.com/jokes/2009-05-10_two-choices.html
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Love-Jokes-And-Riddles/1891753

http://jokes.cc.com/funny-sports/1z59dj/two-prisoners--two-http://www.jokes4us.com/celebrityjokes/donaldtrumpjokes.html
http://www.quickfunnyjokes.com/trump.html
http://laffgaff.com/donald-trump-jokes/