Delustional

                                               

 Copyright 2017     

    

                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusion
                  http://www.dictionary.com/browse/delusional
                  http://www.dictionary.com/browse/delusion

                  https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/delusion

                  https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/delusional       

 https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/how-do-i-find-a-therapist-near-me/ 

                                                        Jokes

“No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities..” 
― Christian Nestell Bovee

  A Deep Rooted Delusion

Perhaps you've heard of the man who thought he was dead? In reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive.
Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.
"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, I do," the patient replied.
"Very well, then," the doctor said.
He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.
The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"
"Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger... "Dead men do bleed!!"

  Suffering From A Delusion

The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a "Lord Nelson." The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similarity of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the men might react violently to one another, but they were introduced and then left alone and no disturbance was heard from the room that night.
The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new patient and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was told: "Doctor, I've been suffering from a delusion. I know now that I am not Lord Nelson."
"That's wonderful," said the doctor.
"Yes," said the patient, smiling demurely, "I'm Lady Nelson."

“All Mad"

'He is mad as a hare, poor fellow,
And should be in chains,' you say,
I haven't a doubt of your statement,
But who isn't mad, I pray?
Why, the world is a great asylum,
And the people are all insane,
Gone daft with pleasure or folly,
Or crazed with passion and pain.

The infant who shrieks at a shadow,
The child with his Santa Claus faith,
The woman who worships Dame Fashion,
Each man with his notions of death,
The miser who hoards up his earnings,
The spendthrift who wastes them too soon,
The scholar grown blind in his delving,
The lover who stares at the moon.

The poet who thinks life a paean,
The cynic who thinks it a fraud,
The youth who goes seeking for pleasure,
The preacher who dares talk of God,
All priests with their creeds and their croaking,
All doubters who dare to deny,
The gay who find aught to wake laughter,
The sad who find aught worth a sigh,
Whoever is downcast or solemn,
Whoever is gleeful and gay,
Are only the dupes of delusions—
We are all of us—all of us mad.”
― Ella Wheeler Wilcox


A bloke finishes fucking his blow up doll, rolls over and says was that as good for you as it was for me?

“There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.”  Dan Greenberg

They named a medical syndrome after me called the Generation X triad: substance ingestion, amnesia & priapism.

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”  ― Rodney Dangerfield

Courtesy of: 
                  http://www.jokebuddha.com/Delusion#ixzz4Xz2J1Bwy
             http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/delusions
                       https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/40pvz9/what_is_the_definition_of_delusional/
                       https://traumadissociation.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/mental-health-humor/

Mental Health

                                 Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2017

                                                   

                            wikipeda mental health 

                            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatry 

                            http://www.ccohs.ca/healthyminds/

                            https://helixhealthcaregroup.com/mental-health/

                            http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/

                            http://ontario.cmha.ca

                            

Seeking a health professional for better mental health.

Seeking a health professional is not the easiest thing to do.

It takes courage to seek out and ask for help.

there are many options in which a person may take.

One can seek a Psychiatrist, therapist or counselling that is financially reasonable.

The choice is yours whichever is more comfortable.

It is always best to try and keep options open.

There is online therapy, dialectical, cognitive behavior therapy, clinical psychologists, counsellors.

Choosing online therapy is also anonymous and can be useful in the presence and safety in your own home.

All clinicians must adhere to strict codes of confidentiality.

Give online therapy a try in the privacy of your own home. Having an online Psychiatrist, clinical psychologists, counsellor or therapist can improve the quality of one’s own mental health.

Lucy Drumonde

                                                 Jokes 

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

― Rodney Dangerfield

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”

George Carlin

“1 in 5 people have dandruff. 1 in 4 people have a mental health problem. I’ve had both. ”

Ruby Wax

Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I'm 
going 
crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.
Amazing ! so you have. 
How could that have happened ?
I can't understand it either, 
because I planted cabbage !

Patient: Why did you 
charge me a 
group rate?
Psychiatrist: You've got multiple personalities.

 If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

- If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.

- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

- If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

- If you are a depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

- If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969696969.

- If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

- If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

- If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.

- If you are a blonde, don't press any buttons - you'll just mess it up.”

Courtesy of: :https://traumadissociation.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/mental-health-humor/
 http://jokes.skem9.co.uk/cat/Mental-health-jokes/
http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/one_liner_jokes/mental_health_helpline

Schizophrenic

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia

http://www.schizophrenic.com/

http://onemansblog.com/2007/06/13/what-its-really-like-to-be-schizophrenic/

http://www.schizophrenia.ca/

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/04/schizoillusion/

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouaparanoidschizophrenicquiz/

JOkes

Did you hear about the panto that was held in aid of the Schizophrenia Association? It descended into chaos when someone shouted "He's behind you!"

schizophrenics are on the roof of a building in a town in a middle of the night with an electric torch. The other points the light beam to the roof of another building and says: "Could you now walk on the light beam to the other building?"

"Of course I could...but I am afraid you turn the light off when I am in the middle!"

A psychotic thinks that two and two are five.

A neurotic knows two and two are four -- but he hates it.

What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?

If you say to a psychiatrist "I hate my mother," he will ask "Why do you say that?" while a psychologist will say "Thank you for sharing that with us."

Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered.

The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me."
The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"

Courtesy of: http://www.workjoke.com,http://strawberryfondant.blogspot.com,andhttp://www.bouldertherapist.com

Thanks ... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Advocate for Suicide.

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011 and BadBanana.

                          
Who loves talking about suicide? I like to think no one actually does,except if you are a grief counsellor or involved in the cognitive or medical field. According to CBC article by Richard Handler there are over 1 million suicides happening all over the world ,and 3,500 people in Canada.
Well, i spoke to having hope for depression in one of my posts.
This time i am actually focusing on suicide.
The topic is close to my heart having family member ,and friends pass away.
I had to learn to cope with the grief and pain of what suicidal experiences had done to me.

The incredible loss I constantly felt on and off.
To know that this was a possibilty that these feelings would never go away.
Many times i had contemplated what would happen if i thought about going into this path.
Would this also help me escape my pain of living life?
Who would i hurt,betray,and alienate?
Would it solve my problem ?
I would think i would not be a burden to anyone anymore.

I found very interesting in reading Mr. Handler's article was the unique idea that suicide was considered a "savage estrangement." A suggested by Mr.Handler a unique loneliness.
Interesting, one would think that telling anyone about how or what they were going to do was a call for attention? Apparently it goes to suggest the person's suicidal act is much to belong to a movement or future afterlife.
Other Richard Handler discusses is called the "solitary suicide ";whereby one feels burdened by oneself or to other people.
Dismantling the myth that suicide is a selfish act. The act can be defined as the prison inside oneself.
Not one would say they would like to survive the outcome of their act ,but also it illustrates the courage to face the fear of death itself.

In conclusion suicide is a overwhelming feeling of isolation that the only act to lesson the burden of pain towards oneself .Hopefully finding some relief or peace whereby the individual was not able to attain while living their life.
As i sit here put my thoughts, it help me clarify certain myths of suicide. Dealing with my own anger,horror,and grief over the years to losing a family member,and friends i was trying to comprehend how i was feeling. Asking the self i had a choice to go into this direction if i really wanted to end my life.
As i dwelled on these thoughts ,i had to consider that life is worth living ,and yes challenging at times.
Telling myself not to give up. I could not allow my sense of  current isolation to continue to effect my direction to move towards a more positive look at life.
Like many, i was also afraid to reach out. I decided to make that choice to pick up the phone, and ask for help or continue to suffer.
Whether it was calling a friend,a distress centre,or going to a nearby hospital there is always someone there to listen or help.
Today , i am speaking for those who feel suicidal.
Learn to ask for help.One ought not be afraid to pick up the phone and reach out to someone with a compassionate ear.
A friend mentioned to me once, never know what  might be around the corner in your life.

Article "Suicide is not painless" by Richard Handler Courtesy of CBC .CA

More links and information feel free to click below.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide
http://www.medicinenet.com/suicide/article.htm
http://suicideinfo.ca/
http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=3-101-102
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2010/10/12/f-vp-handler.html
http://ncsponline.org/takefive.html
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/#diversity
http://www.unveilingthestigma.com/
http://www.grieftalk4u.com/
http://www.mooddisorders.ca/
http://www.gersteincentre.org/
http://www.camh.net/

Joke

A woman, fair of face and long of leg is standing on the G.W. Bridge
preparing to jump. "Life is no good to me!", she thinks and steels herself
for the rush of air as she plummets to her doom.
Just then, a merchant-marine shows up, screeches to a halt and hops out of
his car. "What are you doing?", he asks. She responds by saying, "Life is
awful - I'm going to end it all!"
With a look of sincerest pity, the marine says, "Listen, don't jump. I'm
about to be shipped out to the Mediterranean. Why don't you come along with
me. I'll stow you away on the ship, and when we get to the other side of
the ocean, I'll give you a little money to get started - you can start a
whole new life! All I ask in return is gratuitous sex on the trip over."
The woman considers this, thinking "A new life! - for a little sex?" Not
only would she get a new life out of the deal, but the marine IS kinda
handsome - sex won't be so bad at all.
"OK", she agreed. And with that, the marine took her to the ship and they
left port - she, stowed-away under a lifeboat.
Every day, the marine would bring her food and water and she would perform
the gratuitous sex. Everything was great. But about 10 days into the
journey across the sea, the ship's captain was walking the deck when he
heard a noise from under the lifeboat. Looking under it, he found the
beautiful woman.
"What are you doing here?", asked the captain.
"I'm sorry sir," she cried, "I'm a stow-away traveling to Europe to start
new life. I didn't mean to make a fool of you by hiding aboard your ship."
"Me?" the captain asked. "What about you?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.

To which the captain said, "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


Courtesy of Chaostime.com and thejokeyard.com

A Post

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

I guess there is several meanings to a positng.

hthttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power-on_self-test
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

Joke

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:


1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)

12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)

17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)

 
A geeky answer by Dad to son.


"DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" , Junior asks his dad:

His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"

"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO . Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to up load, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS. Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said:

'You've Got Male'!

 Courtesy of the The Joke Thread

Crazy

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

Is there anything such as normal?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crazy
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/crazy

Joke

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

Courtesy of Joke Factory

 

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven


The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce
The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heav
The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter
Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.
He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".

Menatal Bets

Copyright Lucy Drmuonde 2011

May is mental  health month inaccordance with the Meantal Heath Association.

http://www.selfcounseling.com/help/personalsuccess/improvementalhealth.html

http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/2jNFzW_/I-BET-I-CAN-GUESS-UR-MENTAL-AGE-DUDE

Jokes
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychologist gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and declares: "That's his problem."

My Space

Courtesy Brain.Wash

                                                                                                        Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://www.myspace.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myspace

Joke

My personal check...

An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.


?I have always heard that you can?t take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory,? he said. ?I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within.

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, ?I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000.


The doctor then said, ?I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000.?


The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, ?Gentlemen, I?m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don?t see how you could dare to go against that man?s final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount?.

" I do not understand you,you don't understand me. What do we have in common.?

 Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

Living in a city of so many cultures , one would be easy to strike a conversation or get to know someone. Always wonder when riding the subway watching an individual ,and wondering what they are thinking.
True one would  never guess what that other person is thinking at the moment.
Of course i remember  a good quote someone wrote....

" Nobody has it easy, everybody has problems. You don't know what they go through. Nobody is perfect, nobody deserves to be perfect. So before you start judging, criticizing, or mocking, remember everybody is fighting their own war."


JOkeA Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.

The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more

" Finger pointing can certainly lead you into a more pointless direction."

    

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

Know what they say, a finger pointed towards someone is three fingers pointed back at you.

I had a conversation with a friend over a year ago about co-dependency. I had no idea what it was or its meaning. Of course like many other people I just was not interested until I was curious to find out. What it is. What is does,and what is the result it can do to  an individuals life.

So with some insight i thought i share what co-dependency.

Co-dependency is a emotional,psychological,and behavioral condition under exposure,and practice of oppressive rules. Preventing any expression of emotion. As well as preventing any discussion of personal or interpersonal relationships.

It is a self sabotaging behaviour which results in the loss in participating, and initiating loving relationships.

Preventing open,honest,direct expression of emotion. Allowing an individual to be vulnerable,human,and or imperfect within realistic expectations.

Co-dependents have great insight in other people but cannot their own self.

Not sure of their own feelings,or what they can do to solve their own problems.

One becomes a caretaker,focusing on everybody needs but their own.

Co-dependency can occur at work,romantic relationships,families,all walks of life.

Can be anyone or everyone,individual who is living with a chemically dependant person,mentally ill,people who are in relationships,chronically ill,or in any helping profession.

Each human being and their personality is different.

A result of reaction of allowing other person's behavior effect him or her,and obsessed with controlling the other individual behaviour.

It is a habitual way of feeling,thinking,and behaving towards ourselves.

These actions can result in self-destructiveness.

Answer lies in improving one's awareness,acceptance,self esteem,behaviour, learn to deal with anger,guilt,and learning to attain healthy relationships.

Being kinder to oneself,seeking help,and support.

It is a start from being in a pointless direction with oneself.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm

http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/codependency.htm

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/coda/Codependency_Resources.htm

                            http://www.google.com/Top/Society/Support_Groups/Codependency

Jokes

What does a neurotic have in common with a near-sighted, horny squirrel? They're both @#$%ing nuts!

A psychiatrist asked her multiple personality patient, So, do you feel like you're cured. He replied, Absolutely. We've never felt better.

What do you ask a multiple personality sufferer after sex? Well, was it good for you guys, too?


A middle-aged man went to a therapist while facing a mid-life crisis. The doctor encouraged him to get out into the world and travel: Experience new places. Eat new foods. In my life, I've eaten shark and snake. Have you ever had the hump of a camel? The patient replied: No, but when I was younger, I was pretty good.