Copyright 2017
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusion
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/delusional
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/delusion
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/delusional
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/delusion
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/delusion
https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/delusional
Jokes
“No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities..”
― Christian Nestell Bovee
“All Mad"
'He is mad as a hare, poor fellow,
And should be in chains,' you say,
I haven't a doubt of your statement,
But who isn't mad, I pray?
Why, the world is a great asylum,
And the people are all insane,
Gone daft with pleasure or folly,
Or crazed with passion and pain.
The infant who shrieks at a shadow,
The child with his Santa Claus faith,
The woman who worships Dame Fashion,
Each man with his notions of death,
The miser who hoards up his earnings,
The spendthrift who wastes them too soon,
The scholar grown blind in his delving,
The lover who stares at the moon.
The poet who thinks life a paean,
The cynic who thinks it a fraud,
The youth who goes seeking for pleasure,
The preacher who dares talk of God,
All priests with their creeds and their croaking,
All doubters who dare to deny,
The gay who find aught to wake laughter,
The sad who find aught worth a sigh,
Whoever is downcast or solemn,
Whoever is gleeful and gay,
Are only the dupes of delusions—
We are all of us—all of us mad.”
― Ella Wheeler Wilcox
A bloke finishes fucking his blow up doll, rolls over and says was that as good for you as it was for me?
Courtesy of:
http://www.jokebuddha.com/Delusion#ixzz4Xz2J1Bwy
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/delusions
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/40pvz9/what_is_the_definition_of_delusional/
https://traumadissociation.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/mental-health-humor/
“No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities..”
― Christian Nestell Bovee
Perhaps you've heard of the man who thought he was dead? In reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive.
Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.
"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, I do," the patient replied.
"Very well, then," the doctor said.
He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.
The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"
"Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger... "Dead men do bleed!!"
The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive.
Nothing seemed to work.
Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.
"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, I do," the patient replied.
"Very well, then," the doctor said.
He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.
The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"
"Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger... "Dead men do bleed!!"
The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a "Lord Nelson." The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similarity of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the men might react violently to one another, but they were introduced and then left alone and no disturbance was heard from the room that night.
The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new patient and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was told: "Doctor, I've been suffering from a delusion. I know now that I am not Lord Nelson."
"That's wonderful," said the doctor.
"Yes," said the patient, smiling demurely, "I'm Lady Nelson."
The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new patient and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was told: "Doctor, I've been suffering from a delusion. I know now that I am not Lord Nelson."
"That's wonderful," said the doctor.
"Yes," said the patient, smiling demurely, "I'm Lady Nelson."
“All Mad"
'He is mad as a hare, poor fellow,
And should be in chains,' you say,
I haven't a doubt of your statement,
But who isn't mad, I pray?
Why, the world is a great asylum,
And the people are all insane,
Gone daft with pleasure or folly,
Or crazed with passion and pain.
The infant who shrieks at a shadow,
The child with his Santa Claus faith,
The woman who worships Dame Fashion,
Each man with his notions of death,
The miser who hoards up his earnings,
The spendthrift who wastes them too soon,
The scholar grown blind in his delving,
The lover who stares at the moon.
The poet who thinks life a paean,
The cynic who thinks it a fraud,
The youth who goes seeking for pleasure,
The preacher who dares talk of God,
All priests with their creeds and their croaking,
All doubters who dare to deny,
The gay who find aught to wake laughter,
The sad who find aught worth a sigh,
Whoever is downcast or solemn,
Whoever is gleeful and gay,
Are only the dupes of delusions—
We are all of us—all of us mad.”
― Ella Wheeler Wilcox
A bloke finishes fucking his blow up doll, rolls over and says was that as good for you as it was for me?
“There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.” Dan Greenberg
They named a medical syndrome after me called the Generation X triad: substance ingestion, amnesia & priapism.
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” ― Rodney Dangerfield
Courtesy of:
http://www.jokebuddha.com/Delusion#ixzz4Xz2J1Bwy
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/delusions
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/40pvz9/what_is_the_definition_of_delusional/
https://traumadissociation.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/mental-health-humor/
Posts
1 comment:
"Funnies Jokes" Largest Hub Of Funny Jokes
Post a Comment