Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.
JOkes
Did you hear about the panto that was held in aid of the Schizophrenia Association? It descended into chaos when someone shouted "He's behind you!"
schizophrenics are on the roof of a building in a town in a middle of the night with an electric torch. The other points the light beam to the roof of another building and says: "Could you now walk on the light beam to the other building?"
"Of course I could...but I am afraid you turn the light off when I am in the middle!"
A psychotic thinks that two and two are five.
A neurotic knows two and two are four -- but he hates it.
What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?
If you say to a psychiatrist "I hate my mother," he will ask "Why do you say that?" while a psychologist will say "Thank you for sharing that with us."
Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"
Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered.
The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me."
The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"
Thanks ... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
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