Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imaginary
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/imaginary
JOkes
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"During a simulated attack, the troops have to defended..."
During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it. Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response. "You there," the sergeant shouts, "the imaginary enemy is advancing, and your are caught in the crossfire. Action!" The recruit takes two steps to one side.
"What are you doing, man?" Yells the sergeant, purple with fury. "I`m taking shelter behind an imaginary tree, Sergeant," answers the recruit calmly.
Geography ClassTeacher: What is the axis of the earth?
Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.
Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?
Student: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?
Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.
"51 ways to make your parents think your insane" joke
Follow them everywhere.
Moo when they say your name.
Pretend to have amnesia.
Say everything backwards.
Give yourself a swirly.
Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "The sun!!! It's dying!!!"
Run into walls.
Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house in your underwear (or naked for that matter).
Have nervous breakdowns at spontaneous times.
Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
Pretend to worship the devil.
Stand over them at 4 in the morning with a HUGE grin on your face and yell, "Good morning sunshine!!!"
Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
Run in circles.
Recite a whole movie 3 times.
Pretend to beat yourself up.
Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA!!!"
Slither everywhere.
Wear a sticker that says, "i'm a retard!!!"
Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement.
Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way.
Super glue your finger up your nose.
Talk to a pen. for that matter name it and call it your pet
Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
Lay face down and chant like an indian tribe.
Try and climb the wall.
Spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly.
Take your ice cream cone and put it one your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn.
In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!!"
Make weird animals noises at night, and when them come to see whats wrong, pretend like you're asleep and nothing out of the ordinary happened.
Do what they tell you to do.
Switch the light button on and off for a while. Then say, "Ooooh... I get it!!!"
Eat your hair.
Tell them whatever they're eating looks like a certain animal.
Eat anything obviously not edible.
Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house.
Hold their hand and whisper to them, "i see dead people... "
When you shower or bathe yell, "i'm drowning!!!"
Try to snorkel in your fish tank.
Ask them quietly, "Pardon me but do you have any... " then yell, "SHOELACES!!!"
Chase an imaginary tail.
Demand your own area code.
At everything they say yell, "Liar!!!"
Pretend to be 326 years old.
Hang upside down in your closet.
Pretend to be a phone.
Try to swim in the floor.
Tap on their door all night.
Pretend to have multiple personalities.
Be yourself.
1.4 MATHEMATICS POETRY
Consider the pitiful plight
Of a runner who wasn't too bright
But he sprinted so fast,
That he vanished at last
By red-shifting himself out of sight.
Courtesy of: http://www.jokebuddha.comandhttp://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/1_4.html#subindex
Thanks ...to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
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