End

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/End

JOkes

THE END OF THE WORLD

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

USA Today: WE’RE DEAD


The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN


Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE


Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE


Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE


Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER


Wired: THE LAST NEW THING


Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR


Readers Digest: BYE


Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW


IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?


TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!


Lady’s Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS. BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW


“ARMAGEDDON” DIET!

America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15


MINUTES.


Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE


Microsoft’s Web Site: IF YOU DIDN’T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD


SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.


Sun: ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!


On a road through a desert in Arizona, a preacher named Nathaniel Evans walked every day, preaching to the many people who roared past in their cars.

"Repent, the End of the World is Nigh!" was his constant theme.


One day, as he was walking, he came to a big lever in the middle of nowhere, just by the side of the road. 'Pull this to end the world' said the sign on it.


Now Nathaniel saw this as the perfect spot for him to preach, and soon many automobiles were parked nearby, the people all swayed by his powerful elocution.


All was well, until there were so many people, and so many cars, that the road was nearly blocked. Then a big 18-wheel rig came down the highway, and couldn't stop in time. The driver had a choice: run over Nathaniel, or run over the Lever.


As the driver explained to the Highway Patrol later, he actually had no choice. Pointing to the red smear on the road that used to be Nathaniel Evans, he said "Better Nate than Lever."


The world is going to end in three days, so God calls the three most important leaders on the planet to help him break the news to the masses: Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Jean Chretien.



Bill Clinton goes back to America and tells Congress and the Senate that he has bad news and good news. The bad news is the world is going to end in three days, the good news is that they can finally stop all those investigations of him.


Bill Gates goes back to Seattle and tells Microsoft that he has bad news and good news. The bad news is that the world will end in three days. The good news is that there won't be a follow up to Windows 98.

Jean Chretien goes back to Canada and says he has good news, really good news and amazingly good news: "The good news god thinks I am a world leader, the really good news is that all those problems with the budget won't exist in three days and the amazingly good news is that I won't have to put up with that annoying little twit Preston Manning any more."

 
 
 
 
 
Courtesy of:http://morefunnyjokes.wordpress.com/ andhttp://www.paulkavanagh.com
Thanks ...to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)