Dentist

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dentist

http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos072.htm

http://www.cda-adc.ca/

JOkes

One day, a man walked into the dentist"s office for some dental work. The dentist said, "Sir, you have a tooth I must pull, What type of pain killer would you like?" The man looked at the dentist and said, "None, thanks, I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life." The dentist said, "Sir, pulling this tooth Will be painful, I suggest a painkiller" The man looked back at the dentist and said, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, Nothing else will ever compare." The dentist said, "Sir, I"m telling you, use a painkiller." The man again said to the dentist, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, I do not need painkillers, now pull the tooth." The dentist then said, "Okay, You asked for it, But first, tell me what was the second greatest pain in your life?" The man said, "Yes, I remember it well. I was hunting in some woods north of here one snowy day. Walking through the woods, the urge came upon me and I headed over to a tree. Well, I started to do my thing, and when the first part dropped, It set off a large bear trap that was hidden in the snow that closed on my balls. That was the second greatest pain in my life" The dentist then said, "Ouch! But then what was the first greatest pain in your life?" The man replied, "When I reached the end of the chain."

Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates." The woman replies, "Yes. We're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we."

Why did the guru refuse Novocaine when he went to his dentist?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back: ...and I will fill your cavity.

A friend of mine went to the dentist recently. He commented that it must be tough spending all day with your hands in someones' mouth. He said, "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

What do you call a depressed dentist?

A little down in the mouth.

A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair, the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth. "Aha, caries! I'll have to drill this one out!" says the dentist. "Oh no, I'd rather have a child!!!" cries the lady. "In that case, let me adjust the chair first," replies the dentist.

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.

"This is three times what you normally charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."

An elderly patient went to have her teeth checked.

"Mrs. Hopgood, your teeth are good for the next 50 years." the dentist beamed.
To which she replied, "What will they do without me?"

Actual Names of Practicing Dentists

Dr.Pullman, Dr.Filler, Dr.Fear, Dr.Rensch (pronounced wrench), Dr.Pick, Dr.Tusk, Dr. Drewel (pronounced "drool"),

Dr.Tucek (2thChk), Dr.Chu, Dr.Shugar, Dr.Pic, Dr.Pang, Dr.Butcher, Dr.Harm, Dr.Hurter, Dr.Toothaker, Dr.Lynch,
Dr.Root, Dr.Nasti, Dr.Paine/Payne/Pain (15 entries but notably Dr.Daryl B Payne = "There Will Be Pain"),
Dr.Smiley, Dr.Schotz, Dr.Hale (pronounced "hell" in southern), Dr.Bliss, Dr.Lancit, Dr.Gager, Dr. Eke

When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist.

But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake ! " he told his mates. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his
finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else."

What did the dentist say to the computer?...This won't hurt a byte.

 

What does the dentist of the year get?…A little plaque.

I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy”s tooth. “Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!” “Yes,” replied the dentist, “but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office.”

What did the dentist say to the golfer? “You have a hole in one. ”

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?…Fill me in when you get back.

Open wider. requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. “Good God !” he said startled. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.” “OK Doc !” replied the patient. “I m scared enough without you saying something like that twice.” “I didn’t !” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious … Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything — meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything.” “Well,” says the dentist, “that’s probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It’s eaten away your upper plate. I ll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.” “Why chrome?” asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, “It’s simple. Everyone knows that … there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”

 Did you get your money? ask the wife of the dentist who had just return from the delinquent patient’s home. “Not a cent,” growled the dentist, “and worse than that, he insulted me, and gnashed my teeth at me!”

Courtesy of http://www.funs.co.uk,http://www.dentalindia.com,and http://www.free-funny-jokes.com/

Thanks ... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)