Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.JOkes
A Miracle
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks the doctor." It's worth a try," he says. So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this." "What?" says the priest. "What happened?" "You gave birth to a child." "But that's impossible!""I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It's a miracle! Here's your baby." About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes that he must tell his son the truth. One day he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I'm your mother. The archbishop is your father."
Another miracle?
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings,she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother andsays, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant -about 4 months would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been leftalone with a man! Have you Darla?" Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there somethingwrong out there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anythinglike this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men cameover the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
Medical Miracle
An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months
together, the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor.
The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're
going to be a mother."
"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."
"I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was
impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle."
"I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She
walked
down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a
rage, she dialed her husband.
"Hello" she heard in his familiar halting voice.
She screamed, "You rotten SOB. You got me pregnant!"
There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, "Who's
calling please?."
Thanks ... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
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