Plenty

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

Plenty of Jokes.

One cannot have to much of one thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plenty

JOkes

Ya’ never know . . .

My sister tells me that having sex with a new partner is like a snowstorm. You never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it’s going to last.

Give it a try . . .

A man and his wife went to a fancy restaurant to have dinner. When they arrived they told the maitre d’ that they would like to have a table for two.

“I see,” he repied, “do you have reservations?”
“Yes, we do,” the man answered, “but we are going to eat here anyway.”

What do women . . .

. . . have in common with ceramic tile floors?

(If you lay them right, you can walk on them for life.)

Who’s who, anyway?

There was a wedding at the local nudist colony. There may have been some difficulty distinguishing the bride and groom but everyone could see who was the best man.

Getting together . . .

After they were married, a young man and a young bride we preparing to leave for their honeymoon.  They were so excited, they could hardly wait to go upstairs and get their things together.

Too much . . .

A man died and – having been good all his life – he went to Heaven. To his surprise, there was only himself and George Washington there. He walked around for several days; frankly, bored to tears.

Then one day, he asked God: “How about the people who went ‘you-know-where’? How are they doing?”
God replied: “Well, let’s take a look.” He waved his arms and, in a moment, the clouds parted. The man looked down and he could see all the people in ‘hell’. There was a big band playing and people were dancing. Some were gambling and so on. They seemed to be having great fun.
The man (fearing of offending God) asked timidly: “Do you think we could at least have a little music?”

God replied: “Sorry . . . I can’t book a big band like that for just two people.”

Your fondest wish . . .

A woman’s husband of 20 years passed away. She had his remains cremated and, some time after it was all over, she dumped his ashes on the dining table and spoke to him: “Honey, I used your insurance benefits to pay off the house. Now I own it free and clear.

“And I used your insurance money to buy myself a new car.
“And, with the money I had left, I got myself a handsome, studly young boy friend.

“Oh . . . and one more thing, Honey. Remember that blow job you always wanted?” She took a deep breath and blew his ashes off the table.

 

 Courtesy of: http://jokesforall.wordpress.com/

Thanks ... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)