Suck

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

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http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/suck

JOkes

One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if they could name some things you can suck!"

"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.

"Good, Mary." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?". "How about a lollipop!" said Steven.

"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said.

Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".

The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"

Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."

Suck it, pluck it... 

In this age of safe sex the need for condoms are a must but some people still have a difficult time buying them.

Take my friend, Joe. Our local store carries condoms behind the counter and you need to ask the salesperson to get them.

So Joe went up to the salesperson but he was so nervous he could only ask where the straws were.

So he bought the straws and left only to have to come back to buy his condoms.

Again Joe came into the store and was still so nervous he could only ask where the tweezers were, so he bought them and left.

Joe once again had to go back and buy his condoms. So he went up to the salesperson and said, in a low tone, "I need some condoms."

The salesperson rang up the sale and said, "First you come in to buy straws, then to buy tweezers, and now to buy condoms..."

"...What I want to know is are you going to suck it, pluck it. "

What's the difference between your wife your job?

After five years your job will still suck.

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked,

"Do you suck?"

"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her.

"Do you screw?" he asked.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor.

"I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.

"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

Courtesy of: 

http://www.aarons-jokes.com/joke-8861.shtml and www.://jokes4all.net/sucking.html

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)