Lightbulb

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incandescent_light_bulb

http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inventions/lightbulb.htm

http://www.150.si.edu/150trav/remember/r811.htm

http://www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/cool/002027-2003-e.html

Jokes

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

Q: How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.

Q: How many GLC workers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Four. One to do it and three to go round putting up posters announcing that the GLC, working for London, is going to change the light bulb.

Q: How many city planners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six - four to write an extensive study recommending a three-way 100/200/250 watt light bulb, one to write an article in the newspaper praising the study, and one to put in a 10 watt blub instead. 

Light bulb joke collection 01

Q: How many gypsies does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None, but you lose a lot of light bulbs.

Note: None because gypsies don't have mains electricity, and the losing is a play on the larcenous reputation of Gypsies. You give a Gypsy a light bulb and ask him to change the hallway lamp, pretty soon you have one less light bulb and the hallway lamp is still out.)

Q: How many Helmsley employees does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: 100: 99 to try, and one to fire them all.

Note: Leona Helmsley is the owner of a New York hotel who was a terrible person to work for. She fired employees at little or no provocation. She was so nasty to her employees that she was known as the "Queen of Mean".)

Q: How many pot growers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they use fluorescent bulbs instead.

Note: Fluorescent light is closer to natural sunlight than an incandescent bulb, so anyone using artificial light (which pot growers might do to keep their crops covered and safe from flying, prying eyes) to grow stuff would probably use fluorescent light rather than incandescent.

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Q: How many body builders/weightlifters does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: 6. One to change it and 5 to say "Man, you've got huge muscles !"

Q: How many Sun readers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

Q: How many Sun readers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, but one is enough to screw up the joke.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Duh.... whats a light bulb???

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: It depends how many blondes there are, but some people prefer it with the lights off.

Q: How many poltergeists does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Three. One to unscrew the old bulb and drop it on the floor, one to put the new bulb in, and one to move a few more things about just for good measure.

Q: How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There is nothing to change.

Q: How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sod it, we're all gonna die anyway.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? One hundred. One to do it and 99 to say "Hey, I could have done that!" 

Courtesy of:http://www.ahajokes.com/lig012.html

http://funny2.com/bulb.htm

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)