Old Saying

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/English_proverbs
http://www.localhistories.org/sayings.html
http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/sayindex.htm
http://www.languagehat.com/archives/004292.php
http://www.wiseoldsayings.com/
http://newtontxnetwork.com/tour/oldsay/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A

JOkes
Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go

Wrong that one can’t blame on the government.

I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
 
Where there’s a will there are five hundred relatives.

There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.


My husband, being an astute shopper, as well as an employee at a large local hardware store, keeps an eye on all the closeouts and sales where he works.



One evening he came in the door as usual, we exchanged our usual 'glad to see you' affection, then I noticed that 'i've got a surprise for you' look on his face.


He held up two large sacks filled with items. In the two sacks were eight candle holders for 25 cents apiece, because he knows I love candles.


The other sack contained ten bottles of window cleaner, which closed out for 50 cents each.


I loved the gifts, but was overwhelmed with the quantity so I asked, "Honey! What did you do? Buy everything but the kitchen sink?"


He grinned in his impish way and motioned for me to follow him.


He is so good at that impishness I never know just what will occur next. Full of curiosity and love for my interesting husband, I followed him out to the car.


He slowly opened the truck and low and behold! There was the kitchen sink!


He grinned at me again and told me he couldn't leave such an expensive sink there when it cost next to nothing! I guess I'll have to find a different 'old saying' in the vernacular when it comes to my husband!

 
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled

pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to
hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
 


Courtesy of http://www.funnyjoke.wordpress.com,www.all4humor.com,and/ manchestercomedian.blogspot.com

Thank you to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)