Blind

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind

http://www.balancefba.org/about/evolution.html

http://www.cnib.ca/en

http://www.blindsailing.ca

http://www.guidedogs.ca

Jokes

 A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A rabbi sits down next to him.

   The rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzoh. Taking pity on the blind
   man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man.

Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the rabbi on the
shoulder, and asks, "Who wrote this crap?"

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.


Why are bats blind?
Well, you wouldn't see too good if you hung upside-down all day, would you?


 A blind man walks into a shop with his guide dog. He puts the lead on the dog and starts swinging it round through the air by it. The shop assistant is horrified by this cruelty and runs to fetch the manager.

The manager rushes up to the blind man saying: "What the hell are you doing? Put that dog down immediately." The blind man replied, "I'm only having a look around."


For all Stevie Wonder fans.....


Q: Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

 A: Neither has he! 

Q: How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?   

 A: Blind date. 

Q: Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? 

A: Neither has he

How do you break Steve Wonder's neck? 

A: Speed up the music. 

Q: What goes ring-ring, ring-ring, ring, Ahhhhhhh! 

A: Stevie Wonder answering the iron 

Q: What did Stevie Wonder's mother do for punishment? 

A: Rearrange the furniture. 

Q: Why does Stevie Wonder shake his head when he sings?

 A: Because he can't find the microphone. Q: What do you call Stevie Wonder playing tennis? A: Endless love

 Q: What's the fastest thing on land?

 A: Stevie Wonder's speedboat 

Q: Why does Stevie Wonder always smile? 

A: No one's told him he's black yet. 

Q: Why hasn't Stevie Wonder written a hit in years? 

A: He dropped his pencil! 

Q: What have Patrick Swayze and Stevie Wonder got in common?

 A: Neither of them will see Christmas!

 Stevie Wonder walks into a shop swinging a dog above his head. The shop owner says "Can I help you?" Stevie Wonder say "No I'm just having a look around" At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer. Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything. "When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim." Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round. When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How about if we play for $10,000 a hole?" Tiger insists he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap. But Stevie argues and badgers Tiger until Tiger finally relents Stevie says, "You pick the place and I'll pick the time?" Tiger says, "Fine. Pebble Beach" Stevie replies, "Midnight!" 

Courtesy of: http://www.bestmidi.com/jokes/short.php andhttp://www.jokes4us.com

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Boobs

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

I believe your boobs are about to cause some sort of catastrophe to my eyes.
Unless it is am automatic accident you cannot resist, and just taking you by distraction.
Then again what can you say about boobs?
The article in Mashable  by Jen Mceight aim to prove '' Do boobs cause earthquakes? "
I a m sure Jen apologized in her article , for what stated as a joke for her.
How can we take this so seriously?
I have to agree her article does bring a interesting debate.
The female breast is a marvel. As well as a overrated and exploited to no end to meet the cardinal satisfaction of many.
Never heard of a female boob could create earthquakes,of course to me it has the making of a good joke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast
http://www.oddee.com/item_96989.aspx
http://www.blaghag.com/2010/04/quick-clarification-about-boobquake.html

Jokes

Define: doggie bra.

It can make pointers out of setters.


What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that

a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.


Sally (a blonde) was seen going into the woods with a small package

and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she
returned. Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking' so sad.
Liz,"Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad
you got back okay...but you look so sad. Why??"
Sally,"Cause I just can't get a man."
Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."
Sally, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods
cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I
couldn't find it."
Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Sally, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some
dead mice and a bird cage."
Liz, "So, how's that going help you get a man."
Sally, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good
pair of hooters."


A woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her

right breast hanging out. A cop was approaching from about a block
away, thinking to himself, "Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks
like that woman is hanging out of her blouse." But, as he got
closer, it became apparent that she really was hanging out.
When the officer got face to face with the woman, he said,
"Miss, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" the woman asked.
"Well," said the officer, "Your right breast is hanging out of
your blouse."
The woman quickly looked down and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness!
I left the baby on the bus!"

Courtesy of Boobdoc.com