True

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True

JOkes

The following is supposedly a true story.
Did you understand me?
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, "No Tickets?" What do you mean NO TICKETS?"
The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. "I'm terribly sorry, sir," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"


Wrong place wrong time
Rory Johnson, 29, was arrested in May for a liquor store robbery in Elkhart, Ind. Johnson had parked in the back of the store to facilitate his getaway but had trouble exiting because of congestion due to road construction. Five minutes after the robbery, he was sitting in his car, having moved only a few feet, and liquor store employees pointed him out to police.


Writing to Grandma
A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother:
Dear Grandmother,
I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday.
With love,
Mike

Unsanitary conditions
Wednesday, October 21, 1992
The local board of health closed down the Wing Wah Chinese restaurant in South Dennis, Mass., briefly in August for various violations.
The most serious, said officials, was the restaurant's practice of draining water from cabbage by putting it in cloth laundry bags, placing them between two pieces of plywood in the parking lot, and driving over them with a van.
Said Health Director Ted Dumas, "I've seen everything now."


You aren't the worst
Gerrad, a friend of mine, bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Gerrad said; "I've got the latest model and it doesn't have a space bar." But after further explanation, he managed to find it.


A week later, Gerrad again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to
his house for training. But after a few minutes, Gerrad's head was spinning. "You don't need to go any further," he sighed, I don't understand a thing."
To cheer him up, the instructor said: "Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on the phone who didn't even know where the space bar was!"



Courtesy of: www.ahajokes.com.
Thanks... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Boobs

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

I believe your boobs are about to cause some sort of catastrophe to my eyes.
Unless it is am automatic accident you cannot resist, and just taking you by distraction.
Then again what can you say about boobs?
The article in Mashable  by Jen Mceight aim to prove '' Do boobs cause earthquakes? "
I a m sure Jen apologized in her article , for what stated as a joke for her.
How can we take this so seriously?
I have to agree her article does bring a interesting debate.
The female breast is a marvel. As well as a overrated and exploited to no end to meet the cardinal satisfaction of many.
Never heard of a female boob could create earthquakes,of course to me it has the making of a good joke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast
http://www.oddee.com/item_96989.aspx
http://www.blaghag.com/2010/04/quick-clarification-about-boobquake.html

Jokes

Define: doggie bra.

It can make pointers out of setters.


What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that

a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.


Sally (a blonde) was seen going into the woods with a small package

and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she
returned. Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking' so sad.
Liz,"Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad
you got back okay...but you look so sad. Why??"
Sally,"Cause I just can't get a man."
Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."
Sally, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods
cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I
couldn't find it."
Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Sally, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some
dead mice and a bird cage."
Liz, "So, how's that going help you get a man."
Sally, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good
pair of hooters."


A woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her

right breast hanging out. A cop was approaching from about a block
away, thinking to himself, "Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks
like that woman is hanging out of her blouse." But, as he got
closer, it became apparent that she really was hanging out.
When the officer got face to face with the woman, he said,
"Miss, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" the woman asked.
"Well," said the officer, "Your right breast is hanging out of
your blouse."
The woman quickly looked down and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness!
I left the baby on the bus!"

Courtesy of Boobdoc.com