Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.
http://www.northpole.com/
http://www.allthingschristmas.com/
http://mymerrychristmas.com/
http://www.history.com/topics/christmas
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03724b.htm
http://www.santas.net/aroundtheworld.htm
http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/calgary/Keeping+Christ+Christmas/5905388/story.html
JOkes
Twenty ways to confuse Santa Claus
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :("
11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.
18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue for personal injury.
19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.
Ten things to say about gifts you don't like
10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
7. Well, well, well...
6. I really don't deserve this.
5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
1. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
Some Musical Christmas Advice
Make out your Chopin Liszt early before Debussy season, when you have time to check out Verdi good bargains are, can still get gifts Faure good price, not have to Handel large crowds and have time to give Bach things you decide you don't want.
What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?
Your teeth!
What did the dog breeder get when she crossed an Irish Setter with a Pointer at Christmastime?
A "point setter"!
"Do you ever buy any Christmas Seals?"
"No, I wouldn't know how to feed them."
A Christmas thought:
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
Courtesy of :http://www.ahajokes.com and http://emailsanta.com/jokes_Christmas.htm
Thanks ...to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
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