Sleep

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep
http://www.helpguide.org/life/sleeping.htm
http://www.canadiansleepsociety.com
http://www.journalsleep.org
http://www.stanford.edu/~dement/howto.html
Jokes

'Doctor, doctor, how can I cure myself of sleepwalking?' 'Put drawing-pins on the bedroom floor.' 'Doctor, doctor, I can't get to sleep at night.'  'Lie on the edge of the bed, then, and you'll soon drop off.' 'Doctor, doctor, I haven't slept for days.' 'Why not?' "Because I sleep at night!' A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, “Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.” “I know” said the man, “but I can`t. My wife refuses to sleep alone.” An accountant was having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem! I make a mistake and spend 3 hours trying to find it.” Sleeping on the job Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 15. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 14. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to." 13. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper" 12. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!" 11. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!" 10. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance" 9. "Actually I'm doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend. 8. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress." 7. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 6. "The coffee machine is broken...." 5. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot." 4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!" 3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!" 2. "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands." AND THE #1 BEST THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK: "Amen"  Courtesy of:http://www.scatty.com/jokes/other/bedtime_jokes.html,http://www.sleepjunkie.com/sleep-jokes,andhttp://www.ahajokes.com/off39.html Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)