Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honesty
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/honest
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/honest
Jokes
An honest lawyerAn independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. No one else will know, so you won't be fooling anyone but yourself if you give anything but a truthful answer. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember, your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please read slowly and thoughtfully, giving due consideration to each line.Here's the situation:You are in Florida; Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of Biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer...somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.It's George W. Bush, President of the United States! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
him under... forever.You have two options-you can save the life of G.W. Bush, or you can
shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
Chuck Norris facts not fake. honest!
#If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
#There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
#Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
#Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
#Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
#Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
#Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
#Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Honest Guy
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.
Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
him under... forever.You have two options-you can save the life of G.W. Bush, or you can
shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
Chuck Norris facts not fake. honest!
#If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
#There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
#Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
#Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
#Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
#Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
#Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
#Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Honest Guy
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.
Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Courtesy of: http://www.ahajokes.com/law028.html ,http://www.jokebuddha.com/Honest#ixzz1uM00ZNDX,
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/943198http://www.starjokes.com/view.php?jid=39
Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
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