Seduction

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/seduce
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/seduction/the-10-best-seduction-techniques-927889.html


Jokes
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face. With both hands. "Actually, no" he replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." she asks, running her hands up beyond his  beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

Man a Box and a Bar 

A man walks into a bar carrying a small box. He says to the bartender, if what I have in the box blows your mind will you give me a free drink. Sure say the bartender but it's going to have to be something special because I've seen it all. You will not have seen anything like this says the man while opening the box.

There in the box was a tiny little man playing away a tiny piano. He can play anything the man says. Doesn't  need the music for it either. The bartender just stared with his month open and shaking his head said your  right I have never seen anything like that. Where did you get him from.  

Funny thing I was walking along a beach when I found an old brass lamp. I rub it to clean it up and a genie  pop out and said I could have three wishes. What else did you wish for said the bartender. Oh I've only used  one said the man. Can I have a try said the bartender. Sure said the man give the bartender the lamp. The bartender took the lamp and rubbed it and the genie appeared and said what is your wish master. I want a  million bucks said the bar tender, then in a flash the bar was full of ducks flying every where. 

Why didn't you tell me the genie was no good screamed the bartender. Oh he's good said the man just hard  do hearing you don't think I ask for a 12 inch pianist do you. 

Your Not Here  

A couple are in bed making love, when the phone rings. The girl gets out of bed and answers it. After a few moments she comes back and get back in bed beside her lover. "Who was it” he asked, "Oh it was my husband". Looking a bit shocked he said "I'd better do". "Calm down" she replies, "He's down town playing pool with you". 

Courtesy of:http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Love-Jokes-And-,Riddles/5605,http://www.agingfightback.com/Jokes.html
Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)