Heredity

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

An old pair of genes can never fade out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heredity
http://www.nature.com/hdy/index.html
http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/begin/traitt
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/genome/heredity.html

JOkes

What do you call it when a baker tests a new pie recipe that he wants to see if it will work or not?

A pie-apotheosis!

All the physicists are playing hide and seek. Einstein is the ‘den’ and stands against the wall with his eyes closed and counts till 100 to enable all the physicists to run and hide. At the count of 100 Einstein turns around and finds Newton standing there.

He screams, “Newton, you are out!” Newton says, “No, I ‘m not!”
Einstein says, “Yes, you are. I can see you here in front of me”.
Newton says, “I’m not out. Pascal is.”
Einstein is a bit confused and starts to scratch his head and beard.
Newton says “Here, Let me explain”
He draws a square one meter by one meter on the floor and stands in the middle of it and says,
“Newton per meter square is a Pascal, so it’s Pascal who’s out not me”
 
Knock Knock

Who's there?
Hurricane.
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you run away from the storm?
Why did the man use ketchup in the rain?
Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.

This sign was hung up in a physics / electricity room

"Hangin' With My Ohmies"

i to π: Be rational.

π to i: Get real.

My own thoughts on the process: As you trace your ancestors further back in time, records become more difficult to find, more difficult to read and contain less useful information. You know you have finished your family tree when you can no longer find any records, when you find them you can't read them, and when you read them they contain no information.

First a selection of one-liners kindly supplied by Ernest Bullimore.

My family coat of arms ties at the back... is that normal?
My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!
Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets.
How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE?
I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap.
I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged.
I'm searching for myself; have you seen me?
If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help...
Isn't genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more!
Never mind the children, do you know where your -Gr-Gr-Grandparents are tonight?
A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.
Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts and a few bad apples.
Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?
FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.
Gene-Allergy: It's a contagious disease, but we love it.
Genealogists are time unravelers.
Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide... we seek!
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
"Crazy" is a relative term in my family.
A pack rat is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
I think my ancestors had several "Bad heir" days.
I'm always late. My relatives arrived in America on the JUNE flower.
Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress.
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
It's an unusual family that hath neither a lady of the evening or a thief.
Many a family tree needs pruning.
Shh! Be very, very quiet.... I'm hunting forebears.
Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
That's strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN!
I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes.
Genealogists live in the past lane.
Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots!
Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree.
All right! Everybody out of the gene pool!
Always willing to share my ignorance...
Documentation... The hardest part of genealogy.
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
Genealogy... will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?
That's the problem with the gene pool: NO Lifeguards.
I researched my family tree... and apparently I don't exist!

Did you know that studies have indicated that diarrhea is actually a hereditary disease?

Yep… It runs in the jeans!





Courtesy of:http://www.juliantrubin.com/aboutjoke.html andhttp://www.jimella.nildram.co.uk/genejoke.htm,andhttp://www.cleanjoke.com
Thanks... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Motion Sickness

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motion_sickness
http://chealth.canoe.ca/channel_condition_info_details.asp?disease_id=183&channel_id=40&relation_id=55627
http://www.medicinenet.com/motion_sickness/article.htm
http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/neurological-conditions/how-to-deal-with-motion-sickness.htm
JOkes
Motion sickness

Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," Santa says.
"Thought...?" Banta asks. "What do you mean?"
"Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me," Santa says.
"Wasn't that love?" Banta asks.
"No, that was obsession," Santa explains. "Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."
"Wasn't that love?" asks Banta.
"No, that was lust," Santa replies. "And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."
"Well, wasn't that love," asks Banta.
"No. That was motion sickness!" Santa replies.

Seasick
Mr. Johnson's wife of 50 years suggested they take a cruise: "We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did when we were young." He thought it over and agreed. 
He went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant. Upon returning home, his wife said "I've been thinking, there's no reason we can't go for a month."
Mr. Johnson went back to the pharmacy and asked for 12 bottles of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant.
When he returned his wife said, "Since the children are on their own, what's stopping us from cruising the world?"
He went back and bought 200 bottles of seasick pills and more tubes of lubricant.
The pharmacist finally had to ask: "You know, Mr. Johnson, I don't mean to pry, but if it makes you that sick, why the hell do you do it?"




Courtesty of :http://www.santabanta.com/jokes.asp?catid=6264 and http://www.jokes.com/
Thanks... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)