Bored

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2014

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boredom
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/boredom
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/boredom
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=boredom
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/201209/what-is-boredom
http://www.fastcoexist.com/3022134/there-are-5-types-of-boredom-which-are-you-feeling
http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Boredom
http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/bored-to-death.htm

JOKES

Really Bored

Things you can do with absolutely nothing... Push your eyes for interesting light show: (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things - is your subconscious trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV? Or for that matter, watch TV with your eyes shut doing this? See how long you can hold your breath: (Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible. Try to not think about polar bears: (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about polar bears anyway. Scratch yourself: (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good? Hurt yourself: (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain. Try to swallow your tongue: (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) There's not much to say about this one. It is possible. Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image: (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes. Get yourself as nauseated as possible: (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself"). Things you can do with very little: See what's in your neighbour's trash: (Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR. Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent: (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Fun to pretend the people on the screen are actually talking that way. Call up people who write editorials you disagree with: (Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes) I'm surprised no one has thought of this before. Unleash your fury on the person who had the nerve to write a letter like that! I'm pretty sure it doesn't qualify as a prank phone call, too. Make prank phone calls: (Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes) Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Even more fun if you get a bunch of people on the line using a Wonderphone and take turns making the calls. One to get you started off: Call McDonald's, try to make reservations. Pretend all humans will die except for people in the room with you: (Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes) What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know. Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff: (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and... AHHHHHH!!!!! Burn things with a magnifying glass: (Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes) Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining. Things you can do with another person: Have a water drinking contest: (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them. Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around: (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment--does this really work? Have a "Who is less competitive" competition: (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose. Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view: (Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too. Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear: (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on. Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck: (Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes) Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.

Courtesy Of:
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/really_bored.asp


Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Relationships

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2014

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship

http://www.psychologytoday.com/topics/relationships

http://www.helpguide.org/topics/relationships.htm

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573

Jokes

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

It Started Joke

John walks into his 5th floor apartment after a long day of work, he exhaustively sinks into his favorite arm chair, puts up his footrest, turns on the TV, and turns to his wife Hannah, “Honey, please get me a hard drink, I think it’s about to start.” Hannah rolls her eyes, heads to the kitchen, takes out a beer from the fridge, and brings it to John. “Honey”, said John, two minutes later, “please get me another one quickly before it starts.” “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING!” Hannah exclaimed, “DO YOU THINK I’M YOUR PERSONAL WAITER!? YOU PLOP YOURSELF DOWN ON YOUR EASY CHAIR AND EXPECT ME TO BE ON YOUR BECK AND CALL!? IS THAT ALL I’M GOOD FOR!? John sighs, and mutters under his breath, “it started….”

Ten Short Relationship Jokes

1. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
2. Love is grand... Divorce is 75 grand.
3. Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. - Swedish Proverb
4. Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. - Leo Buscaglia
5. Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. - Miles Franklin
6. Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh!' he whispered. 'Yes, Piglet?' 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.' - A.A. Milne
7. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. - Wayne W. Dyer
8. Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. - Anonymous
9. Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus
10. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Marriage and Children: A Funny Story

'Hello,' uttered the Father, 'and how is Mrs Irwin this fine day? Didn't I marry you two years ago?' Lorna Irwin was striding down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Mara.

Lorna replied, 'That you did Father.'

The priest inquired, 'And are there any little ones yet?' 
'No, not yet Father,' murmured Lorna Irwin.

'Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you.' 
'Thank you, Father.'

A few years later they met again. 
'Well, now, Mrs Irwin," said Father O'Mara, 'and how are you?' 
'Oh, very well,' responded Lorna.

'And tell me,' said the Reverend Father, 'have you any little ones yet?' 
'Oh yes, Father O'Mara,' answered Lorna Irwin, 'I've had three sets of twins, and four singles: ten in all.'

'Now isn't that wonderful,' rejoined Father O'Mara, 'And how is your lovely husband?' 
'Oh, Basil,' she replied, 'now he's gone to Rome. To blow out the damn candle!'

Good Women Are Hard to Find

Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year.

Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months.'

Stephen downs his glass of the red wine thoughtfully and after a while responds, 'Think it over a bit more, Nige; women like that are hard to find.'

Courtesy of:http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/jokes/marriage-humor/relationship-jokes/

http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/relationship-jokes

http://www.guy-sports.com/months/jokes_relationships.htm#Another_Tranche_of_Marriage_and_Relationship_Jokes_

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Please remember ...it is in all good fun: