Suspended

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspended
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspended_sentence
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspended_chord
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/suspended

JOkes
Suspension...it sucks to be smart.

one day i was thinking...i shoul write down soem jokes i chose to write witty funny phrases...by the end of the school day i got suspended don't say stuff like "ambition is a poor excuse for not having the sense to be lazy" to your teacher when u skip homework.

Suspended license

One time a blond asked another blond to drive for her.she accepted.then the blond who was driving said hey why didn't you drive.the blond who wasn't driving replied i got my license suspended.the blond who was driving asked what did you do.the other blond replied i tied it to the roof of the car and it just stood there suspended.





Courtesy of: http://www.funny.com%20and/ http://www.ebaumsworld.com
Thanks... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Surprise

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

             Don't you like suprises?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surprise
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surprise_(emotion)

Jokes

I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right.


The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse.

Just before he rode off, I yelled out,

"What was all that about?"

He replied,

"Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."



Surprise The Wife


After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to get it up anymore. He goes to his doctor, his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.

Finally the doctor says to him this is all in your mind, and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.

Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.

The witch doctor tells him, I can cure this, and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke....

The witch doctor says This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year All you have to do is say 1 2 3 and it shall rise for as long as you wish

The guy then asks the witch doctor What happens after when its over?.

The witch doctor says all you have to say is 1 2 3 4 and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for 3 months

This guy goes home and that night is ready to surprise his wife with the good news... So he is lying in bed with her and says 1 2 3, and suddenly he gets a hard-on.

His wife turns over and says What did you say 1 2 3 for ?

Courtesy  of A-Ha and Buddy Joke.