Accomplish

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/accomplish
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accomplish
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/accomplish
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Chuck-Norris-Jokes


JOkes

Fifty fun things to do during an exam

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turret's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DC CAB. BABE. etc. . ).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not every one's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestle mania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher"












Courtesy of:http://www.ahajokes.com/exams.html
Thanks...to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Motivation

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011.

Please tell me ..were can one find the energy?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivation
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html
http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/motivation
http://www.motivation-tools.com/elements/seven_rules.htm
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/21-proven-motivation-tactics/
http://www.motivation123.com/
http://humor.about.com/od/jokesarchivesa/a/motivational_qu.htm

JOkes

Two Frogs in a Pit – Amazing Moral Story!

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that there’s no way to survive. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.


The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die.


He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs were in shock and said, “Did you not hear us?!”


The frog explained to them that he is partially deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
This story teaches us two lessons:


1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.


2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.


Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words, it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.


Believe in Yourself – Very Motivational Story
A business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park thinking if anything could save his Company from bankruptcy. Suddenly an old man appeared before him. “I can see that something is troubling you”, he said. After listening to the executive’s woes, the old man said, “I believe I can help you”. He asked the man his name, wrote out a cheque, and pushed it into his hand saying, “Take this money.


Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time”. Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come. The business executive saw in his hand a cheque for $500,000, signed by John D.Rockefeller, one of the richest men in the world. “I can erase my money worries in an instant”, he thought.


Nevertheless, the executive decided to put the cheque in his safe first. He thought, just knowing it was there, would give him the strength to work out a way to save his business. With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and got extended terms of payment from c lose some big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.


Exactly a year later, he returned to the park with that uncashed cheque. The old man did not appear for some time yet the business executive decided to wait for a while more. A while later the old man came along but seemed unmindful of the business executive. He stopped the old man and was about to hand over the cheque with a few words of thanks as well as share his success story. At the same time, he saw a nurse come running up and grabbing the old man. “I’m so glad I caught him”, she cried. “I hope he hasn’t been bothering you. He’s always escaping from the rest home and telling he is Rockefeller.” And she led the old man away by the arm.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he’d been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him. Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his new found self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after. He understood that confidence is nothing but the distant vision held positively no matter what comes in between. It comes from one’s own commitment and dedication and is entirely internal.

The Mother of All Excuses Place
There are literally thousands of excuses to be found on these pages compiled by Madtbone Inc. Many are witty. Some are reasonable.


•"I have a friend who told our boss that he needed to leave work because his uncle was dying and he needed to beat his cousin to the power tools."


•"I'm sorry I was late for work, but when I was getting ready to brush my teeth, I squeezed to much toothpaste out of the tube and it took me a long time to get it all back in."


•"I won't be in today. ... My hair wont start."


Categories include excuses for Work, Kids, Doctors, Police, Church, Breaking Dates, Weddings, Diets, Taxes, Debt, Sex, Rent, School, and Jury Duty
http://humor.about.com/od/top10lists/p/motherallexcuse.htm
http://www.bestfakedoctornotes.com/

Courtesy of: http://www.funnyfunnyjokes.org/tag/motivation/,http://forum2.aimoo.com

Thanks... to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)