Goverment

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2018

https://www.thefreedictionary.com/Goverment

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Government

http://www.yourdictionary.com/goverment

Jokes

Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

What's the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you're out if you're caught stealing.

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

If you are not part of the solution, you're probably running for President

When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.

Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side." Bush interrupted, "Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?" The doctor replied, "That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left."

What's the difference between government bonds and men?

Bonds mature.

Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

It was then observed that 100 % of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

 A priest, a politician, and a clown, walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

Politician got a bribe of five hundred thousand dollars. When he brought it home, his wife asked him: “Where did you get this money, honey?” He answered: “If somebody asks, that’s the money your grandma left us.”

Courtesy of:https://onelinefun.com/political/3/

https://unijokes.com/political-jokes/

http://jokes4all.net/government-jokes

https://humoropedia.com/funny-political-jokes/

Google Images

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Talk

       Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2018

   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk

                            http://www.dictionary.com/browse/talk
                            http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/talk
                            https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/talk
                            https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/talk

                       

                                              Jokes

           Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.
           I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.

           Funny how we need to talk really means you need to listen.


A social worker asks a colleague: "What time is it?"
The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."
The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."



A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"

Why don't dinosaurs talk?

Because they're dead.

When addressing a small crowd or low attendance) This must be a wealthy crowd. Each of you bought two or three seats!

Do you know the definition of an after dinner speaker? Someone who has been asked to say a few words and says too many.

As S.S. Biddle once said, "A political speech pleases all. Those who agree with it think it over, and those who don't are glad it is over."

If speaking while people are eating) Please go ahead and keep eating while I'm speaking. I'd rather be eating cake right now too rather than listening to some boring speech.

Courtesy of:https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2016/03/30-funny-short-jokes-that-are-guaranteed-to-make-you-smile/
http://jokes4all.net/talking-jokes
somuchpun.com
https://cheezburger.com/5156659200/sadly-their-humor-is-spineless
https://www.goodbadjokes.com/jokes/why-dont-dinosaurs-talk
http://canuwrite.com/speech_one_liners.php
https://www.simpli.com/web?qsrc=999&qo=semQuery&ad=semD&o=603690&l=sem&askid=1d7566b6-a48b-434a-bc02-322425b844f8-0-si_gsb&q=public%20speaking%20jokes%20humor&dqi=&am=broad&an=google_s


Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)