Reward

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reward

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reward

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/reward

Jokes

Reward for goodness

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. 

The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you. 

To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation.

To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.

To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.

A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!" 

Reward these soldiers for their work

A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.

Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the Generals office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated.

What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so who'll it be?"

Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr!" General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds"

Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir!"

General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds"

Soldier 3: "The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!"

General: "That's a strange but fair request, son!

As the general begins the measurement: "What! Son, where is your left pinky?"

Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr!"

£1 billion reward

There was a reward of £1 billion for any man that swam from one end of a swimming pool to the other. and the pool was heavily infested with hungry crocodiles. an American man went first, and 2 seconds later he was killed. a Russian man suffered the same fate, and so did 10 others. after a while, it looked as if no one was going to go in again when suddenly a man just jumped in, dodging the crocodiles elegantly and came out at the other end. it happened to be a naija man. after being congratulated, he was asked to make a comment, and he goes, breathing heavily ' if i catch the person wey push me wallahi i go wound am. Allah i go wrong dat person'.

Courtesyof:http://www.ahajokes.com/hea05.html,http://www.ahajokes.com/war010.htmlandhttp://www.onlinenigeria.com/jokes/ad/1-902 Thanks...to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)