Mirror

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror


Jokes
Mirror, mirror on the wall 
Do you have to tell it all?
Where do you get the glaring right
To make my clothes look too darn tight?
I think I'm fine but I can see
You won't cooperate with me,
The way you let the shadows play
You'd think my hair was getting gray.
What's that, you say? A double chin?
No, that's the way the light comes in,
If you persist in peering so
You'll confiscate my facial glow,
And then if you're not hanging straight
You'll tell me next I'm gaining weight,
I'm really quite upset with you
For giving this distorted view;
I hate you being smug and wise
O, look what's happened to my thighs!
I warn you now, O mirrored wall,
Since we're not on speaking terms at all,
If I look like this in my new jeans
You'll find yourself in smithereens!! 




Kisses on the Mirror
A school head was alerted by the caretaker to a persistent problem in the girls lavatories: some of the girl students were leaving lipstick kisses on the mirrors. The caretaker had left notices on the toilet walls asking for the practice to cease, but to no avail; every evening the caretaker would wipe away the kisses, and the next day lots more kisses would be planted on the mirror. It had become a bit of a game. The head teacher usually took a creative approach to problem solving, and so the next day she asked a few girl representatives from each class to meet with her in the lavatory.

"Thank you for coming," said the head, "You will see there are several lipstick kisses in the mirrors in this washroom, "

Some of the girls grinned at each other.

"As you will understand, modern lipstick is cleverly designed to stay on the lips, and so the lipstick is not easy at all to clean from the mirrors. We have therefore had to develop a special cleaning regime, and my hope is that when you see the effort involved you will help spread the word that we'd all be better off if those responsible for the kisses use tissue paper instead of the mirrors in future, "
At this point the caretaker stepped forward with a sponge squeegee, which he took into one of the toilet cubicles, dipped into the toilet bowl, and then used to clean one of the lipstick-covered mirrors.
The caretaker smiled. The girls departed. And there were no more lipstick kisses on the mirrors.


The magic mirror joke
Three women, a blond brunette and a redhead walk into a store that has a sign saying that the store has a mirror that grants your wishes. They all want to try it and line up in front of the magic mirror. The red head is first and when she looks into the mirror, she wishes for a new car and a shiny red convertible is waiting for her in her driveway. The next to wish is the brunette. She wishes for a million dollars and BOOM she gets it. Finally, its the blondes turn. She walks up to the mirror, looks it squire in the eye and says: 'I wish this joke were funnier'










Courtesy of:
http://www.facebook.com/notes/i-cant-help-but-look-in-the-mirror-when-i-pass-one/random-mirror-jokes/231042971604
http://www.nairaland.com/15135/kisses-mirror
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/67046
Thanks to:to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)