Compliment

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2011

There are individuals whocan take a compliment with class and dignity.

           http://www.wikihow.com/Take-Compliments

Jokes

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the accountant, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

How do you know if your accountant's a bit kinky?

When he insists on satin balance sheets


A lawyer and a Tax consultant are sitting next to each other on a long flight from the US back to London. The lawyer leans over to the Tax Accountant and asks if he would like to play a fun game.


The Tax consultant just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to take a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains 'I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you pay me £10.

Again the Tax consultant politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says 'OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me £10, and if I don't know the answer I will pay you £100.
This catches the Tax Accountant's complete attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the earth to the moon? The Tax consultant doesn't say a word, reaches into his pocket and pay the lawyer £10.

Now it's the Tax consultants turn; He asks the lawyer: 'What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? Having asked the question he turns round and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer looks at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop and searches all his references, he opens his laptop, logs on to the web and tries searching around wikipedia, tris google, yahoo and host of other serch engines but he gets nowhere. Frustrated he sends E-mails to all his collagues and friends. All at no avail.
After an hour he wakes the Tax consultant and hands him £100. The Tax consultant politely takes the £100 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Tax consultant and asks, Well, so what is the answer? Without a word the Tax consultant reaches into his wallet, hands the lawyer £10 and goes back to sleep.

 Courtesy of the Tax Advice Network U.K