Corrupt

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

“The devil himself can become beauty, so we are told, to corrupt mankind."
(Marco)” 
 Iain Pears, An Instance of the Fingerpost

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/corrupt

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/corrupt

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/corrupt

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/corrupt

http://www.transparency.org/research/cpi/overview

http://cpi.transparency.org/cpi2011/results

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXpLL3G-Qrc

Being corrupt

so abrupt

just go up

forget being stood up

just look up

forget being stuck

running muck

 not suck

just luck

JOkes

Two corrupt government officials (A&B) were attending an international conference on Development in Singapore. During the break they were comparing notes on the dirty doings in their respective regions.

Delegate A boasted of his new big house and his late-model BMW - saying that he'd got the money by skimming six per cent off the budget of a newly built bridge.

Delegate B produced a photograph of a river in the middle of his region. "See that bridge?" he said, pointing at the photograph.
"What bridge?" asked delegate A.
"One hundred per cent!" said the delegate B.

Well, anybody guess where delegate B is from?

P.S. Bert, I couldn't find a category which would fit this joke. :? So I just put it here. If this is not correct, can you please file it in the right place. Or if jokes are not part of the forum, please delete it. Many thanks.

Corrupt and foolish!

The wives of two politicians(Santa & Banta) were having a bitter quarrel. `Your husband is corrupt and foolish. He was caught red-handed accepting the bribe.`
`Absolute bakwaas,` yelled back the other. `And who are you to talk! There is an enquiry going on against your husband as well.`
`Sure! But the enquiry against my husband is being conducted by a first class Magistrate. The enquiry against your husband is being carried out by a retired government servant.` 

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Shocked Bush
Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaimed. "That's terrible!"

His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands. 


Finally, the president looked up and asked, "Just how many is a bazillion?"

The Corruption test

So everybody on the block thinks you're just the sweetest thing since cheesecake was invented... Girl's consider you 'like a big brother' or the guys think 'I bet she's a bore in the sack.' Don't worry, we don't believe 'em either! And here's your chance to show prove it to them, once and for all! This test takes about 10 minutes, and then we'll break down your scores compared to those of thousands of others! We'll even show you what the opposite sex is up to!
1:		Ever laughed at someone else's misfortune?
		Yes  No
2:		Ever tried alcohol?
		Yes  No
3:		Ever been drunk?
		Yes  No
4:		Ever drink enough to throw up?
		Yes  No
5:		Ever wake up and not remember what you did the night before?
		Yes  No
6:		Ever been forcibly removed from a bar?
		Yes  No
7:		Do you drink regularly? (at least three times a week)
		Yes  No
8:		Ever try pot, hash or magic mushrooms?
		Yes  No
9:		Do you do drugs regularly?
		Yes  No
10:		Ever been stoned or drunk for more than 48 hours?
		Yes  No
11:		Ever been on a date?
		Yes  No
12:		Ever had sexual intercourse?
		Yes  No
13:		Ever had a bath or shower with the opposite sex?
		Yes  No
14:		Ever paid for sex?
		Yes  No
15:		Ever taken advantage of someone while they were stoned or drunk?
		Yes  No
16:		Ever perform oral sex on someone of the opposite sex?
		Yes  No
17:		Ever engaged in anal sex?
		Yes  No
18:		Ever engaged in a '69'?
		Yes  No
19:		Ever contracted an STD?
		Yes  No
20:		Ever had sex without a contraceptive?
		Yes  No
21:		Ever had or knowingly been responsible for an abortion?
		Yes  No
22:		Ever had sex with two or more partners in a week?
		Yes  No
23:		Ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
		Yes  No
24:		Ever had sex in a public place?
		Yes  No
25:		Ever engage in sexual activity with a member of the same sex?
		Yes  No
26:		Ever used sex toys?
		Yes  No
27:		Ever been responsible for losing someone else's virginity?
		Yes  No
28:		Ever bought something in a sex shop?
		Yes  No
29:		Ever have sex with a relative?
		Yes  No
30:		Ever been arrested?
		Yes  No
31:		Finally, are you male or female?
		Male  Female

http://www.the-jokes.com/tests/corrupt.php

Who is more corrupt joke?

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question. 
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. 
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

The Best Lawyer joke ever!
How do you save a lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water.

Courtesy of:http://balipod.com/bali-fiction-faction-friction-f8/jokes-corruption-t1339.html

http://www.santabanta.com/jokes.asp?catid=3033

http://www.sickipedia.org/subcategory/view/3292

http://www.mwambao.com/political.htm

http://www.the-jokes.com/tests/corrupt.php

http://www.most-funny-jokes.com/funny-jokes-who-is-more-corrupt.html

http://open.salon.com/blog/rogershuler/2010/11/01/the_best_lawyer_joke_ever

Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)

Please remember ...it is in all good fun:)

Power

Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_(physics)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_(philosophy)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/power
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/power
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/power


Jokes
Top ten nuclear power jokes.10) The main argument for keeping nuclear power plants going forward is that they work, and they create new mutations for radiologists to research.

9) The main argument against using nuclear power is that it’s dangerous, and that argument is often made by protesters who are violently dangerous.

8) The economics of using nuclear power are clear: On the whole, it’s efficient, and profitable, and advances the state of science and knowledge, which explains why anti-nuke activists are so vocal.

7) The economics of stopping nuclear power are clear: Accidents happen, and make massive costly disaster holes that disrupt the pursuit of more wholesome science and knowledge, which explains so many why pro-nuclear advocates are glad they own shares in Westinghouse – the world’s leading manufacturer of nuclear power plant parts.

6) Once upon a time, nuclear power was considered the power of the future. Ironically, nuclear waste will long remain a weakness of the past.

5) Once upon a time, wind power was considered the power of the future. That was in the 17th Century BC in Hamurabi’s reign in Babylon, and they still haven’t found a way to make it solve all our energy needs.

4) A nuclear plant, a windmill and a solar panel are at a party, and the nuclear plant is getting all the attention from the hottest girls. Jealous, the windmill and solar panel ask the nuclear power what his secret is. Naturally, the atomic power player says “Well, Mr. Windmill, you’re just spinning your wheels in place and blowing a lot of air getting nowhere, and you Mr. Solar Panel, you suck up all the light and your character is very flat. On the other hand, I am the bad boy every hottie loves: I’m dangerous, I’m toxic to the core, I’m hard to handle, and my charm isradioactive.”

3) If you fish near Three Mile Island, Chernobyl or Fukushima, be sure your fishin’ trip does not turn into a fission trip.

2) If it weren’t for radioactive mutations and nuclear power plants, Marge Simpson wouldn’t have three-eyed fish to feed Mr. Burns and Homer would be unemployed.

… and the #1 nuclear power joke is:

1) It’s OK to think your inner strength is a form of nuclear power, as long as you don’t have ameltdown.

The power of baptizing.

Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner.

One said “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything–noise, spray, cats–nothing seems to scare them away.

Another said “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex att ic.I’ve even had the place fumigated, and they won’t go away.”

The third said, “I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church… Haven’t seen one back since!!!”

What would you call a power failure?
(Answer) A current event.

What's the best way to charge a car battery?
(Answer) With a credit card.


What would a barefooted man get if he steps on an electric wire?(Answer) A pair of shocks.


A successful politician is a power transformer.












Courtesy of: http://funnyjokesandlaughs.wordpress.com/2011/05/31/the-daily-dose-5312011-top-ten-nuclear-power-jokeshttp://www.turnbacktogod.com/jokes-the-power-of-baptizing and 
http://energyquest.ca.gov/games/jokes/george.html.
Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)