http://www.dictionary.com/browse/choice?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choice
http://www.merriam-webster.com/choice
https://www.betterhelp.com/online-therapy/
Jokes
Two Choices
With the economy the way it is and
John just getting laid off from his first job, he decided to go into
service. John went to the recruiting
station. He took some tests and was told
by the recruiter he could go in either the Army or the Navy. John asked the recruiters advice and was
told.....
If you go in the Navy,
you will be OK. If you go in the Army,
you have two choices.
You can go either into
the infantry or the artillery. If you go
in the artillery you'll be OK but if you go in the infantry you have two
choices. You will either go to war or
not go to war.
If you don't go to war,
you'll be OK. If you go to war, you have
two choices. You will either be in the front
lines or the rear lines. If your in the
rear lines you'll be OK. However, if
your in the front lines, you have two choices.
You will either be shot
or not shot. If your not shot you'll be
OK. If your shot you'll have two
choices. Your either going to be injured
or killed.
If your injured, you'll
be OK. If your killed you have two
choices. Your either going to heaven or
hell.
If you go to heaven
you'll be OK. If you go to hell you have
two choices. You will either go to the
paper factory or the glue factory.
If you go to the glue
factory you'll be OK. If you go to the
paper factory, you have two choices. You
will either become newspaper or toilet paper.
If you become newspaper
you'll be OK. If you become toilet paper
you have two choices. Your either going
to be put in the men's room or the ladies room.
If you go in the men's
room you'll be OK. If you go in the
ladies room you have two choices.
Making
Choices While walking down the street one day a Corrupt
Senator(that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St.
Peter at the entrance.
... "Welcome to heaven," says St..
Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a
high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with
you."
"No problem, just let me in," says
the Senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from
the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in
heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to
be in heaven," says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the
elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the
middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in
front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they
had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then
dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very
friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that
before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves
while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door
reopens in heaven where
St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's
time to visit heaven...”
So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a
group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and
singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have
gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell
and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he
answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been
delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he
goes down, down, down to hell...
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in
the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the
ground.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm
around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the
Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse,
and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great
time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look
miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and
says,"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted.."
TWO PRISONERS, TWO
CHOICES
Two explorers are flying over the Amazon. The
Plane crashes and the local tribe captures them and takes them prisoner. The
King brings the first prisoner in front of the whole tribe. He then asks
"What do you choose, death or Bondo?"
The prisoner says, "I choose Bondo, I
don't want to die."
The crowd chants, "BONDO, BONDO UBEO
UBEO Then a huge, well-endowed man comes out and screws him and the guy
screams.
Meanwhile the other guy sees this. Then the
king calls for the second prisoner. He comes out and says, "I saw what
happened. I choose death."
The Kings says, "No one has chosen death
before. He looks at the crowd and asks how the prisoner should die."
They shout "DEATH BY BONDO!"
Courtesy of:
http://www.amazingjokes.com/jokes/2009-05-10_two-choices.html
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Love-Jokes-And-Riddles/1891753
http://jokes.cc.com/funny-sports/1z59dj/two-prisoners--two-choices
Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
http://www.amazingjokes.com/jokes/2009-05-10_two-choices.html
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Love-Jokes-And-Riddles/1891753
http://jokes.cc.com/funny-sports/1z59dj/two-prisoners--two-choices
Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
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