Copyright Lucy Drumonde 2013
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impersonator
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/impersonator
http://thesaurus.com/browse/impersonator
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/impersonator
http://www.torontosun.com/2012/04/05/police-charge-justin-bieber-impersonator
http://www.kmprod.com/celebs-impersonators
JOkes
Women’s Clever Answers To Pick-Up Lines
Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”
Woman: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
Woman: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to your place and I’ll go to mine.”
Woman: “Both. You go to your place and I’ll go to mine.”
Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.”
Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there.”
Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there.”
Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”
Woman: “No Parking.”
Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do Not Enter”
Woman: “Do Not Enter”
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized!”
Woman: “Unfertilized!”
Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason.”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”
Man: “I want to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.”
Woman: “You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?”
Woman: “You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?”
Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”
Man: “I can tell that you want me.”
Woman: “Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you to leave.”
Woman: “Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you to leave.”
Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.”
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”
Man: “Hey cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.”
Man: “May I see you pretty soon?”
Woman: “Why? Don’t you think I’m pretty now?”
Woman: “Why? Don’t you think I’m pretty now?”
Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”
Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”
Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.”
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?”
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?”
How to Turn Off Don Juan
He: Haven’t we met before?
She: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the Bad Breath Clinic.
She: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the Bad Breath Clinic.
He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
She: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
He: So, wanna go back to my place?
She: I don’t know. Can two people fit under a rock?
She: I don’t know. Can two people fit under a rock?
He: Your place or mine?
She: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.
She: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.
He: So what do you do for a living?
She: I’m a female impersonator.
She: I’m a female impersonator.
He: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
She: Do Not Enter
She: Do Not Enter
He: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
She: Unfertilized.
She: Unfertilized.
He: Hey, we’re both here for the same reason.
She: Right, let’s pick up some chicks.
She: Right, let’s pick up some chicks.
He: I want to give myself to you.
She: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.
She: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.
He: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
She: If I saw you naked, I’d die laughing.
She: If I saw you naked, I’d die laughing.
He: I know how to please a woman.
She: Then please leave me alone.
She: Then please leave me alone.
He: I’d go to the end of the world for you.
She: Sure, but would you stay there?
She: Sure, but would you stay there?
male comebacks to female comebacks
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a slut.
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a slut.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock.
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.
Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I get done fucking you in
the back of my car, I don’t give a shit where you go.
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.
Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I get done fucking you in
the back of my car, I don’t give a shit where you go.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.
Man: So that’s how you got that little mustache.
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.
Man: So that’s how you got that little mustache.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always shoot it on your back.
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I can always shoot it on your back.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, ’cause you seem like the kind of chick that is impossible to shake once you smack the goods to her.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, ’cause you seem like the kind of chick that is impossible to shake once you smack the goods to her.
Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me, as long as you are still a little warm when I shove it in your ass.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me, as long as you are still a little warm when I shove it in your ass.
Thanks to:.to all those who contributed all these these jokes, and for making the world a little better place by putting a smile on someones face:)
Please remember ...it is in all good fun:)
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